Monday, December 10, 2007

I've Got the Blues!

Okay, not really. I'm not depressed or anything. It's just that the desire to have another baby gets really strong at times. It seems like the last few weeks it's been getting stronger. At first I couldn't figure out what it was. Then I started to count. I know 9 women expecting 11 babies, and that is not counting my cyberfriends.

That is truly incredible. I can usually at any given time count 2 or 3 pregnant women that I know. I really do get excited when someone tells me they are expecting, whether it's their first, or tenth, or they just had one ten months ago. Okay, there are a few that give me thought for example the unwed mom expecting twins..... That seems to be when I get a little jealous, but God is sovereign and He knows what He is doing.

It took 4 years to get Little Boy, and I am still prone to miscarriages. I'm also 35, and while I know that it's not ancient by any means, fertility rates do go down and when your not very fertile anyway... well. Yes, I have written about contentment, but sometimes it is hard, especially when these are good gifts that I desire. I will praise the Lord no matter what!

Oh, something truly amazing I read yesterday. A sweet blogger had a miscarriage last month, and just found out she is STILL expecting. The doctor has her theory's, I say it's a miracle! Anyone who miscarries knows this is what we hope for after we've gotten the bad news, even though we know it is irrational. Praise God, this is what happened in her case!

I truly am blessed to raise 4 lovely, interesting, unique children for the Lord. I also know I have a brood in Heaven! I don't normally tell people about wanting another child. I hear so many times, that I should be happy for what I have ( as though I'm not), There are people who have no children (yes, and that is so sad). One person even told Hubby while I was pregnant with Little Boy, "Some people can't have children and you breed like rabbits", said the nice Christian lady. It is just so foreign to people in today's world that someone would desire many children.

If you are expecting, praise God for that little one. It truly is a miracle to be able to conceive and carry such a precious little bundle! I know, I've gotten to do it 4 times!

Psalm 127 was one of the verses instrumental in us deciding to have a tubal reversal 6 years ago. I have many times had to go back to the first 2 verses. I also think it is interesting that He put these verses together.

1Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
2It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
4 As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
5 Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Okay, now that that is out, I can concentrate on the things I can do something about!

1 comment:

The Proverbs Wife said...

I often have the same feelings regarding more children. I've had my tubes tied after my fourth child and at times feel a desire to have more children.

The decision to have the surgery was based on finances. If finances and I guess a lack of faith in God to provide on my part would not have been an issue I would have had a house full.

God's will is going to be done concerning your womb. If it is to be it will be. May God bless you and your desires to have more children.